Saturday, March 12, 2011
In which T & Lo look at 2 pictures and go off for paragraphs of bitchery.
Gwyneth Paltrow is featured on the cover of InStyle UK magazine, the April 2011 issue. Or at least her face is. We think that's her face. It's kind of hard to tell because the figure standing before us has entered the Uncanny Valley and doesn't really look quite human anymore. We tend to skip the discussions of Photoshopping most of the time, but she really looks odd here. Great dress, though. We wonder who wore it for this photo.
Burberry Prorsum Spring 2011 CollectionModel: Julia Nobis
Although we would have preferred that jacket on the cover. Much more eye-catching. All right, Gwynnie. We suppose they told you you were allowed to speak, so let's hear it.
On hanging out with her friends in London: "I like having dance parties at my house and being super-goofy with my girlfriends," she says. "We just play dance music like whatever is on the radio and then old stuff—Michael Jackson, disco—and new stuff; we mix it up. It’s fun.”
On how she prepared for her role in Country Strong: “I’ve never prepared for anything more in my life. It was a big responsibility. There was studying with an accent coach, learning to play guitar and, of course, the singing. My voice didn’t have any power and I wanted to try to sing properly. I was so nervous about performing live scenes in the film; that’s so foreign to me.”
On her performance in Country Strong: "Normally, I can’t stand to see myself, but with this film, I felt like it all came together, all that hard work and putting myself in such an uncomfortable position where I felt so scared of how I was going to do it. I’m happy with how it turned out. I am.”
Have you noticed how so many celebs lately list Michael Jackson as a musical favorite? Kind of funny how you never heard that sort of thing while he was alive and accused of diddling kids. Ooooooh, we're cynical bitches this morning!
The thing is, no matter how hard she tries (and she's been trying very hard lately), a celeb can't tell the public who she is once they've made up their collective mind. That's harsh, but then again, she'll never have to worry about a grocery or utility bill, tuition, car payments, medical coverage or mortgages for the rest of her life. Boo hoo. People think you're a self-important and pretentious clown. Here. Have a Black Card to make up for it.
The thing is, no matter how hard she tries (and she's been trying very hard lately), a celeb can't tell the public who she is once they've made up their collective mind. That's harsh, but then again, she'll never have to worry about a grocery or utility bill, tuition, car payments, medical coverage or mortgages for the rest of her life. Boo hoo. People think you're a self-important and pretentious clown. Here. Have a Black Card to make up for it.
Inside, she's done up all rocker chick:
Bottega Veneta Spring 2011 Collection
Bottega Veneta Spring 2011 Collection Model: Joan Smalls
And admittedly, she looks pretty good here. But if she gets a recording contract now (like she's rumored to) the public is only going to think worse of her; that she's a wealthy dilettante who has opportunities given to her that are regularly denied more talented people. For all her attempts to rehab her image and her apparent distress at how the public sees her (she used to mention it a lot in interviews before the current PR blitz), she seems pretty stubbornly naive about the whole thing. If the public perceives you as entitled, self-important and removed from day-to-day reality, then attempting to turn your mild singing talent into a full blown career without having to, say, play a string of shitty bars, which then become shitty clubs, which then become tiny little shitty performance venues, all in the hopes of landing that recording contract, then the public is only going to hate you more.
We have no idea if that GOOP thing is profitable for her, but if she wanted our opinion on how to rehab her image, she'd shut that thing down immediately and take a string of low-profile roles where she either looks like crap for the whole movie or is playing a character very similar to how the public perceives her. "She's making fun of herself! How charming!" "She's not wearing makeup! Oscar!" See, Gwynnie? It's really not that hard.
And admittedly, she looks pretty good here. But if she gets a recording contract now (like she's rumored to) the public is only going to think worse of her; that she's a wealthy dilettante who has opportunities given to her that are regularly denied more talented people. For all her attempts to rehab her image and her apparent distress at how the public sees her (she used to mention it a lot in interviews before the current PR blitz), she seems pretty stubbornly naive about the whole thing. If the public perceives you as entitled, self-important and removed from day-to-day reality, then attempting to turn your mild singing talent into a full blown career without having to, say, play a string of shitty bars, which then become shitty clubs, which then become tiny little shitty performance venues, all in the hopes of landing that recording contract, then the public is only going to hate you more.
We have no idea if that GOOP thing is profitable for her, but if she wanted our opinion on how to rehab her image, she'd shut that thing down immediately and take a string of low-profile roles where she either looks like crap for the whole movie or is playing a character very similar to how the public perceives her. "She's making fun of herself! How charming!" "She's not wearing makeup! Oscar!" See, Gwynnie? It's really not that hard.
[Note: this feature first ran in the U.S. version of InStyle]
Post a Comment
Labels: Cover Girl, Fashion, Gwyneth Paltrow, InStyle, Magazine Cover/Editorial
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment